A Reluctant Journey
"Non-violence leads to the highest ethics, which is the goal of all evolution. Until we stop harming all other living beings, we are still savages."
~Thomas Edison
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| Cows Love Jazz! NO, seriously - click here. |
A couple of weeks ago, I began to consider giving up
red meat, since I really don't eat much of it anyway. A week later, after eating all the shrimp and tilapia I could stand (there's not a lot of seafood available in Fort Morgan, frozen or otherwise), I thought, why not try to quit eating meat altogether? It won't be that bad. I mean, I can still eat cheese. Sadly, after a week of increased cheese
consumption, my ears were swelling nearly shut (they do this often due to
allergies of unknown origin, but this was much worse). After blaming it on the wind and whatever
else I could think of, I noticed that it happened right around the same time
each day -- after my 3:00 p.m. cheese stick snack. Pfffffbt.
Ah, well. For years I have substituted
almond milk in place of cow's milk anyway (for reasons listed under "cheese",
above). Might as well give up the damn
cheese, too.
I have been on all
sorts of diets, usually as part of my never-ending (losing) battle to shrink
And doesn't it just figure that the diet my body
seemed to like the best was also the most annoying to follow? It required way more preparation than any
other diet I've been on. Eating out (not
just at restaurants, but at friends' and relatives' houses, too), I was hard-pressed to find
something I could eat. I found most of
the vegetarian options (and vegetarian recipes) to be full of cheese and/or
sour cream, to make up for the lack of meat -- AWESOME, can I have some oil and
fat with my carbs, please?! A vegan diet
was difficult enough to follow in California, where fruits and vegetables are
plentiful; I can't even fathom trying to pull it off in North East Colorado.
"Wait a tic," you might say, "Aren't
you in the middle of Farmville?" Yep. I anticipated produce-a-plenty. However, the grocery stores in Fort Morgan (of
which there are -- count 'em -- three,
the best option usually being Walmart, believe THAT or not) have the saddest selection of pitiful, limp,
unappealing produce I have ever encountered.
All of the fields surrounding us are growing soy. And hay.
And at least one giant potato field that I know of. Hey, at least there are potatoes! Nah, those are for a potato chip
company. The soy and hay are grown to
feed the meat that feeds the people.
Apparently that is far more profitable than growing vegetables, and I
get it; people have to earn a living. And
that is pretty much the only way to turn a profit out here.
Back in the early 2000's, I accidentally read a diet book based on veganism (Skinny Bitch), when I didn't know what
"vegan" meant (just wanted the "skinny" part). It started off
as witty and entertaining, but then quickly and seamlessly moved into describing meat industry horrors, and relaying quotes from the seriously deranged people who kill animals for a
living, which my brain will never be rid of.
I have seen the images of dairy cows with udders literally exploding
with milk, their teats covered in scabs from being milked raw (which is what
prompted me, when I did drink milk, to pay an arm and a leg for organic -- now,
when Chris picks up a carton of non-organic milk, I say, "Oh, so you
prefer your milk with scabs, these
days?" It's a very effective little
campaign). I have watched the videos and read the articles depicting the very
real and absolutely unnecessary pain and suffering going on at slaughterhouses. I also know a lot of people who do not eat
meat for moral and ethical reasons.
I will spare you additional gory details, but
suffice it to say that (a) if you've never looked into it, it's worse than you
can possibly imagine (really, truly -- they torture these animals for entertainment), and (b) the unspeakable things that happen to the animals
we eat before their meat goes into our bodies is not news to me. And yet, I am sad to say, I have lived an odd
dichotomy: As much as I love animals, I also love to eat
meat. I love hamburgers, steaks, hot
dogs and sushi. Shit, I even love
Chicken McNuggets, to be honest with you.
Good cuts of meat, crappy cuts of meat, I have enjoyed it all, and to
make matters worse, I like my steaks rare.
I have spent a lifetime quietly scoffing at vegetarians and vegans,
thinking what a pain in the ass they are.
Furthermore, the more political the "don't eat meat" argument,
the more likely I am to eat a big chunk of meat in your face. (I know -- who am I, right?? I am not proud of it, but it's true.)
To my chagrin, the fields out here that do not
contain soy, hay, or potatoes, are full of live meat -- that is to say, cows. These are not the happy cows of the
California milk campaign. They are
living in muck and filth, and according to what I know to be true, that is the
least of their problems. I have seen
fields full of cows before, and intellectually, yes -- I knew where they were
headed. But now, I regularly see those semi-trucks
roll by, packed full of cows, which roll by again a few hours later completely
empty. The frequency of it, coupled with
the meat-packing plant located nearby, has made it increasingly difficult to ignore
the fact that I eat those cows, knowing
full well what horrors they suffered before slaughter. Even worse, I am actually helping to fund it
with what little hard-earned money I have.
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"No man should be allowed to be
president who does not understand hogs."
-President Harry Truman
(I don't know why he said that,
but apparently, he did.)
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My feelings on this subject took a turn for the
worse not long ago. While driving down
the
freeway I came upon one of those trucks.
As is my practice, I tried to pass it by as quickly as I could, not
looking. I pulled alongside the left of
it to make my move and, God help me, I looked.
Just for one second. And yet
somehow I locked eyes with one of the many pigs crammed into the back of that
trailer, and I could not look away. It
felt like it lasted for 20 minutes, at least.
I cried for a couple of miles afterward, and I cried when I tried to
relay the story, embarrassed as I was about it, to Chris. I would have done anything to save that
damned pig. Just that one pig.
I am not saying that you should not eat meat. I
don't even know that I will be able to complete this meatless journey (and I am
definitely not giving up my girls' eggs!). You will not find me making any PETA-style attacks on anyone, or giving you my moral and ethical standpoint on Facebook. This is such a personal choice. However, if you're moved in the least, perhaps just consider
buying kosher. If you have access to a Trader
Joe's, they not only sell free-range, organic chicken, but kosher beef, as
well. In order to be labeled kosher, rigorous
cleanliness standards and, more importantly (to me, anyway) standards for the humane
treatment AND slaughter of the animal must be followed. Yes, it's more expensive -- quite a bit
more. But the little peace of mind it
gave me was always worth it, even though I really couldn’t afford it!
I haven't really felt the same since the day I had that
damn moment with a pig headed off to slaughter, whose suffering is long over
now. Living here, I am confronted daily with
the faces of the animals I eat, and I
am hopeful that will generate the strength I need -- the strength I have always
longed for but didn't think I possessed -- to put my veggies where my mouth is,
and give up meat altogether.
So, should you spy me in a fast food drive-thru horking down a
hamburger, please … don't judge.
"The animal liberation movement is saying that where animals and humans have similar interests (we might take the interest in avoiding physical pain, as an example, for it is an interest that humans clearly share with other animals), those interests are to be counted equally, with no automatic discount just because one of the beings is not human."
~Pete Singer, Australian Animal Activist
